Monday, July 7, 2014

I LOVE Football!

This post has almost nothing to do with football, but the title is true none the less. I do love football. I think its a great sport. If there was only one sport I could work with for the rest of my life, it would be football. I never get tired of it. I think the athletes are great to work with. Its exciting. It is a great sport.

When I made the decision to withdraw from school, I automatically disqualified myself from the internship with the Green Bay Packers. Having already sent in my application, cover letter, and resume; I now had to send a "hey I'm withdrawing my candidacy" letter. Do those even exist? How do you even start one of those things? Believe me, you cannot google a template for that kind of letter like you can a cover letter. But I wrote one, from scratch, tears forming in my eyes as the letters formed on my computer screen. When I hit send, one by one they rolled down my face. Sometimes I choose not to feel or care about things, it's much easier. Knowing that I was essentially giving up on my dream was heartbreaking. This was something I had cared enough to focus 7 months of perfecting my resume and cover letter for, and just like that, the opportunity was gone. People have told me I just gave up, or stopped trying, my decision to withdraw was a long thought out and calculated decision. It was a difficult decision, but there was a lot of conflict throughout the process, but like I said before, it was the right decision. Although, at the time, sitting in front of my computer after sending an email to the Green Bay Packers, crying; it did not seem like the right decision.

But life continues on. I still work as a waitress at the North Ave. Grill. It's still a good job. I still like it. There's no time to stop and look back and say well I should have done this, or that would have made this better. Nope. I made that decision, its done, move on, the day doesn't pause for you to look back and rearrange things so that everything is the way you wanted. You have to continue on when plans don't work out, when all your plans, goals, and expectations are tossed in the trash, you can't stop and wonder why it didn't work out the way you wanted. Believe me, where I am now in my life is not where I ever anticipated I would be. I wouldn't even have anticipated being here four or five months ago. My life had been moving, had been going somewhere. Then I stopped. Life didn't stop. I stopped. I got comfortable, I stopped challenging myself, I stopped dreaming or making goals. I didn't care. It is what it is, I'm a waitress….thats it. Theres nowhere else to go and I didn't care enough to change it.

Now…I'm trying to register for EMT courses, which is proving more difficult that I thought it would. But I'm excited. I want to be in these classes. I want to get my EMT licensure. Because I LOVE football. Because I LOVE to help people. That is what I do. I can put aside anything thats going on in my life and focus all my energy in helping another. Thats ok with me, and I LOVE to do it. Theres an adrenaline rush that comes from fast-thinking and fast-acting skills that would be necessary for an athletic trainer or an EMT. I want that. And I want to help people.

So I can't work with the Green Bay Packers as an athletic trainer. Nobody said I can't move to Green Bay and work as an EMT. An EMT that covers the Green Bay Packers football games. This is what I want to do…help people…and watch football. Lots of football :D