Update 2: April 2nd, 2013

I can’t say that what you will read in this blog has a lot to do with my previous post and how I felt about Athletic Training. I began to feel like that prior to the events that I will share here. That being said the two are not mutually exclusive I’m sure.

I have a close family. I love my family with all my heart and would undoubtedly do anything for them.

Two months ago, I lost a man very dear to me, and although at the time I did not realize it, he had a big impact on my life.

My grandfather passed away in April after a long battle with lung issues. It was not unexpected as these problems had been long lasting, but losing someone you love is never easy. I had visited him a few times when I was able to over the weekends as he lived in Minnesota. The last time I visited before he started to quickly decline, he was able to walk to the kitchen and speak with us. The very last time I visited he was bed-ridden and could not carry a conversation.

He was a man I looked up to and respected. He was my grandpa. He was a big man with a loud laugh, lots of opinions, and stubbornness. But he was the best big, loud, opinionated, and stubborn man I know!

It’s nice to have someone who supports you, someone who follows your life and knows what is happening. Everyone wants someone who will ask you questions because they remembered your conversation the last time you saw them. That is the kind of grandpa I had, the one I knew that, if I called him, he would know what it was about, he would be able to encourage me without trying, because he just knew, and he believed in me.

When I told him what I was going to school for the first time he was nothing but supportive and even looked up what kind of career paths I could have. When I told him I had an internship with the USOC he looked up where it was and what kind of contacts he had, if any, and who was involved in the USOC. When I told him I was going BACK to school he was again extremely supportive, asked if I knew some of the people that he knew at UWM, and always talked about me getting in touch with his old professors. UWM was one school he went to and he said a few times to me how he would have liked to visit again. I can’t imagine how our conversations would have gone if I could have walked the UWM campus with him.

When I told him I was going to volunteer for the Summer Olympics he looked up what London was doing to provide security and safety, where the Olympic venues would be. He wanted to know where I was staying and how I would get to my volunteer venue. When he found out I would be working with wrestling, he looked up what wrestlers from the Midwest would be competing in the Olympics. He saved newspaper clippings for me to read about wrestling, he gave me names of wrestlers specifically from MN, just in case I ran into them. Despite his age, he was the only person I did not have to repeat myself to regarding my volunteer position and my anticipation as well as things that I was pursuing in my life. He always told me he was proud of me, he always told me I could make it, and he always always told me he loved me.

Now he’s gone. While I know he is praising his Lord in heaven, and I’m extremely happy and excited to see him there again, I miss him. Now when I talk about my life, even to family members, I have to repeat things frequently, and I have no one to talk about my plans with who understands. About this time I would be calling him to “check in” and let him know how classes ended up. No matter how my semester went he would say, “You can do it toots.” I had plans and goals that he was a part of helping me to create.

I love him with all my heart and will miss him with all my heart. Despite him being gone and not having his unfailing encouragement, there are things I need to achieve because they are plans that he and I made together.